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Relationship - Marriage

Since men do not discuss their feelings as easily as women, it is often difficult to determine just what they expect out of marriage. Many women throughout time have been devastated by a sudden divorce request from their husbands. They may have thought that he was perfectly happy but in truth, he was completely miserable. In order to keep your marriage healthy it is vitally important to understand what men really want in a wife and how to be the wife that they want and need. To understand the concept of what men really want you can look at some of the marriage priorities that men have given over the years to counselors and friends.

First and foremost, men want to be appreciated. They want to know that you appreciate the work that they do and everything that they contribute to your marriage and family. Simply put, men do not want to feel as if they are being taken advantage of. Just imagine how you would feel if you didn’t think anyone appreciated all the hard work you do. Men are no exception.

They also like to know that they are making you happy. They want their wives to laugh and smile frequently. They want you to laugh at their jokes and appreciate their stories. Of course you don’t want to plaster a fake Ms. America smile on your face at all times. You need to really keep a good sense of humor and appreciate the little ways that he tries to make you smile.

They want you to be concerned about them. They want to know that you are concerned about their general well-being. If your husband is not feeling well then he wants you to take care of him. If he is sad or depressed then he wants you to comfort him and be concerned about his feelings. Women are not the only ones with emotional issues. Men feel just as deeply as women do they just have more trouble expressing those feelings. If you see your husband feeling down or having an emotional crisis then be there for him. This is especially true in homes with children. It is often a woman’s prerogative to put her children’s needs before her husbands. Just know that sometimes he may need you more. He may need a bit more affection and caring to let him know that you are still concerned about him even though you may have other issues to deal with at the moment.

Finally - and this is the big one - he wants time alone with you. Although a healthy sex life is important to many men, being alone together does not necessarily mean for sex. It is important for you both to be sexually satisfied but it may be a bit more important to just spend alone time together. A date night once every week or so will do wonders for his self-esteem and yours as well. It will help you to create and maintain a stronger bond between you. Men want to know that their wives want to be with them. Honestly, men are like little boys sometimes who often feel self-conscious and frightened. It is important that you show your husband that you are still attracted to him, not just sexually but emotionally as well.

If you feel that your husband is not currently happy then discuss these issues with him. Ask him how he feels about your marriage and your personal relationship. Give him the opportunity to speak up about what he feels is missing in your marriage. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Talk to him and ensure that you are both getting everything that you dreamed from your relationship.

Comments (72)Add Comment
Husband wants nothing to do with me
written by Amy, June 17, 2013
We've been married 45+ years and the day after our wedding night I was told to never bother or talk to him. He told me sex was disgusting, smelly, messy not worth the effort. Also he couldn't understand how any human could do some thing so degrading like sex with another human. It made him want to vomit. So we only had sex once and then he moved to the basement and then to his garage with his shop, cars. We only slept together once, and we haven't talked in years. He avoids me all the time. I've been confused, depressed all these years.
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What the hell
written by jeannie, March 06, 2013
Give, give, give...I just went through theray with my husband because he is sexually insensitive to my needs. Therapist recommended book. He did not order it but spent hours taking out an engine from his four wheeler, boxing it up to ship to Texas, tracted it, talked to the guy who will fix it...but not interested in his wife's sexuality much less her sexual satisfaction. So I hope his four wheeler runs while his wife finds someone to get her off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Husband is back to me, Lowly rated comment [Show]
ht
written by albcl109, October 22, 2012
This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine.
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What I want from my wife
written by nat, April 28, 2012
I want nothing from my wife, I want her to leave me alone, don't talk, quit complaining because I hadn't slept or had sex with her in 45 years. Its her life she can do what she wants. I like my life of solitude in my basement. I don't have a computer, phone, or much to do with the outside world.
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Does everything have to be about women?
written by Steve, March 30, 2012
Michelle, You epitomize everything wrong about American women! You are extremely self entitled, critical, high maintenance, pompous, and above all SELFISH!

Everything in American culture is saturated with how to make women happy, when almost all of them are impossible to please!

There is a reason why 81% of divorces are initiated by women, because they are self centered American women! There is a reason why foreign bride services are booming, because American men are wanted all over the world! The world's men are NOT eager to have a spoiled, fat, self centered, high maintenance, bitchy American woman! You are one of them! ME, ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,M E,! That's all most American women can do! It's an epidemic plague!

Stop your whining and self entitlement nagging!

You are definitely impossible to please.
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Oops!
written by Michele, March 24, 2012
I don't get it. I go online to find out why my husband and kids treat me like their personal maid service, and I land on this B.S. about what guys want? This seems like what women want...It's what I want! Ridiculous.... whining all the time...what men want is for someone to replace their Mommies! Women are too busy looking for Mr. Right when no one is right. I say we all get sterile. smilies/angry.gif
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My son is my son till he gets a wife,my daughter is my daughter all her life
written by Tania khan, February 27, 2012
i need an essay on this plz any body help me
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viewers in this blog should help me thank the grate temple, Lowly rated comment [Show]
first of all it took an hour to write that!! and no i wasnt trying to spam
written by everyonewouldsaygetout, February 15, 2012
why do you assume i would know why my comment ddint atamatically go trhough if it didnt refer me to a page to log or sign in? thank a lot i could have learned something from the replys i could have gotten and now i have no copy of my message.
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EveryOneWouldSayGetOut
written by everyonewouldsaygetout, February 15, 2012
everyone would tell me get out. we're together since 2006. i'm the woman. He's a great man. we spend too much time together we know it, we cant afford not to financatially. I know i'm not as bad as he says. how can i when after we so called make up he without even sounding unhappy upset but actually sounds quite happy to tell me these things gives me info letting me know he's telling his counselour things that misrepresent what's goin on. things that will just be another complaint of his, and you know what i love that sob and he may be controlling and manipulative and be better at it than my mom but he aingt never gonna get the 10% of who i am to be all me mousy and quiet and a servant rather than a partner. if he cant tell himself the truth or others that the 90% everyday fighting he's talking about is actually not even a fight at all, but me walking into a room and blowing of steam feeling very good giving a charasmatic expression of an opinion and he knew i'm like this before he proposed and he proposed twice without request or break up so if he thinks keeping notes about my "outburst" is gonna break my spirit and make me "submissive to him as he's my God" then he should just call it ogf now cause i love his scemmin A H SOB AZS and i am not falling for that shit. but if he ever got violnet on me, i will so readily give him all but my clothes and things he never uses cause they are clearly mine and the tv and just get help from my dad to live cause my man got some serious issues and so do I and counselling dont do you good when people try to splilt you up cause they find out what the one who asked for counseling is bieng shady. by the way grew up in a home where dad hit mom, dad screamed his sexual demands at my mom and we were christians except dad was a poser, and now he's divorced and he's actually a great loving regrets the way he was caring person. but see dad didnt break my mom nor me. but my man is only 10% like my dad in desire, and i'm not going to counseling so he can humiliate me and lie about the ways he writes his notes. because less than fiteen percent of our "fights" are real fighting arguing and they tend to be quite normal compared to mom and dads before thier divorce. and i am not letting him destroy what is still healthy about me. i like to enjoy expressing my feelings and opinions and most stuff isnt about him. but when he cant even make up and he is using woman manipulation and guilt trip and fear motivating tactics to make him feel better well you know what your article is bullshit cause he can cook clean and jerk off but i dont make him do that and nothing keeps him happy and he projects his own paranoyias on me and we love each other but to make this work i have to remember i have ptsd he has a brain injury and yeah there's been times he told me i cant come out of a room and cant talk while he has a friend over, but he aint like that always that was when he was sick. so all you people have no idea what marriage is. is about keeping love alive and holding onto a relationship not to "serve" or to give em what they want but to care first about your God and then keep fighting and laughing and forgiving and letting go cause marriage is gonna be a problem cause it always is a problem and if your rich or stupid enough to make it look good always and trouble free then you arent honest people and you wont make it long especially if your unfertile. marriage is a commitment cause you care about him enough to not let him go and make him alone and lonely by giving up, and because you care enough about her to not label her into negative untruthful communication that is self serving. my man doesnt desire to be selfish or crush my spirit but i wont let him either way. and i am protecting our relationship by not goin to couseling. anyways if you heard how loud i talk and what a wisper is to me, you wouldnt be suprised that when i get excited it sounds too loud to him, he should not be lying to himself that its a fight at him. i dont know but he was in jail til the court got arround to givin him a court date and that took a year and i didnt even leave my house or see friends except to buy provisions. so what does he have to be paranoid of? right he's goin trough a phase i been through mine, we'll get trough it and i am not getting out. men need these things, self respect, dignity, success according to the scales they invision, work, love, sex, food, water, air, shelter, a friend, some one who understands and lets them speak when they choose to, not a mommy not a servant, but to be the giver, and to have mystery. not in that order and there is more yup but it shows you that men raised by mommy's to want what mommy gave em ARENT HEALTHY and men who dont want any support or care or friend and want nothing from a woman to help him ARENT heathy either.
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mrs
written by maxine, February 14, 2012
couldnt help but reply regarding darryls comment i think alot has to do with age since most young guys fail to understand emotional feeling with women that knowing how to respect a women is an important part of a relationship mostly all will fail
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This is just a bunch of feel good nonsense about what women want their men to want.
written by Ben, February 14, 2012
Rule #1) Leave us the hell alone. We don't want to you up in our face every minute of every day trying to tell us how much you appreciate us or blah blah blah.


This list couldn't be further from the truth.

FAIL.
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What a guy really wants
written by darryl , February 12, 2012
This article is a bunch of emotional BS geared more toward a woman's need for emotional attachment in a relationship. What a guy wants depends entirely on the situation. There are some common things, but ALL of it is mostly LOGICAL needs, not emotional--unless your married to a repressed homosexual (not saying being gay is wrong at all).

First, a guy likes his hobbies more than you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but most guys enjoy above ALL else is their freedom! If your guy decides that he would rather spend his day playing games, fishing, working on the car, what ever HE enjoys for fun. This is not personal, just because you have decided to make him your whole world doesn't mean he is disrespecting you. You need to see a shrink about self esteem. If you want to spend time with him, go with him and HAVE A GOOD TIME.

Now, if you are a housewife and a guy tells you he wants you to be a stay at home mom, this now becomes a complicated issue (and where most marriages fail). This guy is basically telling you that he doesn't want to deal with cleaning the house, most of the housework (YES even fixing things), and most importantly the children. He is telling you, I will pay all the bills and give you an allowance and you will take care of my kids and house. If you want a day off, get a baby sitter. To be a really good "housewife" you WILL learn how to fix the household appliance, except maybe the car and lawnmower. A guy would never leave you, i promise, if you knew how to read a manual and fix an appliance in the house. You could use the saved money for a baby sitter so you could take him to the titty bar and then back home for some real "emotional" break throughs.

Now you can view my post as hateful, chauvinistic, blah blah. And most guys won't tell you the real truth because they fear the emotional outlast that would surely happen. Some guys just are willing to put up with it because of the sex or food, but what is definitely not keeping them there is anything emotional beside the good times through your friendship, nothing more or less. You want to show your man you appreciate him, give him his freedom and don't bog him down with emotional baggage. Its a partnership not a work to deserve me relationship.
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its true
written by john, February 09, 2012
the article is pretty much on the mark. iam in my mid 50s and i can say its what i wanted. never had it though which is why i have quit thinking about it. not all men need or want the same things but in general we are all the same. iam a christian and i feel for the most part marriage is a dieing dream. oh yes the young still believe in it but for the most part they learn too. we live in selfish times . people say you dont make me happy, you dont do this and you dont do that, and you do this and you do that. it never ends. for the most part people talk to much. anytime you speak you open yourself up for misinterpution. people dont need to know what others are thinking all the time. that what opens pandoras box. this is not a gender issue both sexes have these problems. i once got a fortune cookie that read the more we know the less we believe and it is right if you think it thru . if couples delivered in marriage to one another what they SOLD one another in courtship the breakup or divorve rate would go way down.people have to be CONTENT with themselves which is hard to do nowdays (money is hard to come by and even harder to keep) outside presures to look a certain way . success in measured by the size of your bank acct. which is one of the resons for so much unhappiness in our country. just look around at all the HATE in the country. it can change and it not that hard to do. well thanks for the artical and good luck to all
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...
written by brana, February 08, 2012

i am brana i lives in slovakia and i was in a serious relationship with my ex guy for three good years..

One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party.

i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us..

then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to one of the spiritual diviner ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ).at first i thought it was not going to be possible and i contacted him i was ask to come up with a little requirement,so i did what i was ask to do, after 3 days i was in my office when my ex guy called me and was asking me to forgive him and come back to him.

i was very surprise it was like a dream to me,so ever since we have been happily married with one kid my lovely

baby(Ceslav)...i wish you the best of luck...
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live life..its too short 2 be miserable
written by nazy, February 07, 2012
Lol wow these comments r funny! Some are mean. And sad.. I'm happily married w a bby on the way(: just rem. Ur vows& a home is 2 loooooo00000ve my hubby he isn't perfect bt then again who is?
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Men are selfish
written by Tina, February 05, 2012
smilies/wink.gif smilies/cool.gifOkay short & sweet most women love to
Talk & hug & kiss & be treated with respect
Appreciated & given a break sometimes not
Just treated like a maid so just put actions into
Gear & yr halfway there!!smilies/smiley.gif simple really manners
Thankyou //.please that was delicious how r u?
Caring etc if it's all about u & yr motorbikes or surfing
Forget it move on!!!
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adad
written by Essay Writing Service, February 04, 2012
This is what I have been searching in many websites and I finally found it here. Amazing article. I am so impressed. Could never think of such a thing is possible with it...I think you have a great knowledge especially while dealings with such subjects.
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:/
written by Alice, February 03, 2012
I am soo confused.. I have been with him for a total of 7 years (2 of these married) ..we're young!!! And we also have 2 babies.. I feel like for the past month he has been very distant from us (me n the babies) ..he works a full time job so I understand he is tired.. I only go to school I don't have a job but if u ask me taking care of babies is quite a job.. Harder I believe. I do clean the house, I make dinner and I always try to have a smile on my face soo he can get home to A happy home.... But it just seems to never be enough.. As soon as he gets here he has a face on him.. He's either tired or simply frustrated so I ask him how work was and his response is 'ok' or 'it's sucked' and I ask him well y and he just says just cuz..what I'm trying to say is he canNOt have a conversation with me anymore,.. But oohs he can have a full conversation with his friends all the time... We never go out just us two of course it's hard because of the babies ..but when we get a chance to go out to dinner we need go Alone....he always calls his friends and don't get me wrong his friends are nice and funny but I feel like we need time for ourselves .... But he doesn't... Is he tired of me? Another thing I work soo hard to keep this place clean so he can come home to a clean house... And he never appreciates it..just throws his shoes everywhere etc. he does not help out with the kids.. He gets easily frustrates.. Does he not think I'm tired? I honestly don't know what is wrong with our relationship but I need help I feel like I truly love him.. But honestly I kind of want to get away... We don't talk to each other and yess we do have sex ..but I just feel like something is seriously wrong between us...what to do??
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Calling
written by Bob, February 01, 2012
My girlfriend/fiancee teaches a class one evening a week. Most nights home no latter then 8:30. A little girl in her class was still sitting outside when she was walking out and she stayed with her until her parents arrived. Which I think is great Apparently it took a while to get a hold of the parents. By 9:00 I hadn't heard from her was starting to get worried. I never called her myself. Anyway she called shortly thereafter to inform me what happened and she was on her way home. I asked her if she would in the future to just text me so I know she's ok. She said like what would really happen to me? I said really? Many things. She then said she felt like I was kind of controlling her. That I was acting like a parent. I took offense to that. I don't care how long she stays out but just when she's running late (and not 5 or 10 minutes) to just let me know (send text) so I don't worry about her. The reason why I'm writing is to get opinions if I'm being controlling or just caring. I don't ever want to be controlling. So... please help
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contact
written by abigail, January 29, 2012
I am so happy to inform you that my boy friend and I got back together on Sunday. I don’t think that things would have worked out the way they did if I hadn’t done the leave my man alone spell. I think by doing so, it allowed him to realize and remember how wonderfully happy we made each other, better yet it made (I know not literally made but you know what I mean) miss it so much to nearly break down into tears twice in public when he was trying to tell me about it. Thanks to Dr (gbocotemple @ yahoo . com)……
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Well, i have 2 out of 4 and my marriage pretty much sucks.
written by Richard Smythe, January 16, 2012
Well,I would LOVE It if i got those 4--even occasionally. I have maybe 2 out of 4 consistently. Never all 4. Ever. And my marriage pretty much sucks.

The vast majority of the time I feel like an electric blanket, ATM and maid.

Oh well, I guess the blue bird of happiness is out of this home...

My perspective is that many many men never mature past 17 and many women are too self centered...

Richard
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Seriously?
written by What?, January 11, 2012
I have come to the conclusion after reading many articles about this subject that I am supposed to treat my husband like a 5 year old. Whatever. Anyway, I always mention to my husband that we need to have date nights. Fine he says. Set one up. YOU get the sitter. YOU figure out when,where and what day. It' YOUR idea. That is his attitude. My point is why can't he come up with this idea of a date and romance me like I would like to be romanced? Hmm? Why can't he do this for me? I mean I'm supposed to be the good wife and do it for him, with a smile on my face of course, right? When he is sick I bring him food and drink without him having to ask. When I am sick why do I have to ask for something to drink? Hmm? I mean isn't he supposed to be there with a glass of juice and chicken soup with a smile on HIS face? Because you know I am supposed to do that for him. The truth is men need to be lead by the hand and 99 percent of the time that doesn't even work. The fact is that men are clueless. Plain and simple.
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Most important is US
written by Getting there, December 16, 2011
My Marriage Vows
The most important thing I want is honor. I honor him, me, us.
I am a true patriot where love and life are concerned.
Secondly is fidelity, I can only evolve and grow in knowing we are honoring our health and bodies.
I love to have fun, lots of it. I make it easy for him because I am expressive and have a huge imagination for things to do. I love hockey, that's a perk for him, but it wouldn't matter, I'd still watch the games without him.
I absolutely love intimacy, it's so crazy important to my whole being, my human being. It ignites my heart, my passions and my ambitions.
I am a giver and receiver, when there is a balance all is well and happy and everyone is smiling. Keeping my eyes on the prize, which is him, my gift, I never travel too far to keep this balance in check. He's too damned important and like I tell him "He's just going to have to get used to being that"
Down time, He can have his down time because I need my alone time. He can do with it whatever he likes as I will insist upon it myself.
Of course if he needs me during this, I will jump in. But he's solid and capable of taking care of himself. I do not worry, I protect him with an army at my side and one at my back.
Communication, never hold it back, never, I tell him softly and point blank, got a couple of things, if you need to think about it, no problem, get back to me. If I need you to hold me while we talk, please do, it makes feeling vulnerable to my fears less anxious.
Praise and thanks, I thank him for being who he is exactly how he is, I thank him constantly, because I am very grateful he is in my life, anything he does is so cherished.
Freedom, finding freedom with a partner can mean many things.
I tell him this. "If you ever have something you need to do, have somewhere you need to be. If your heart calls to you and you need to leave" I will die a thousand deaths, but it would be a million more if I stopped you from your course.
These are my vows of marriage, these are my intentions, these are my tears, laughter, sacrifices, tribulations, rewards.
Above all HONOR. It feeds our immortality, it creates universes to meet again. Thank you baby from a depth I still can't describe.
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Guys want women who can have fun with them and appreciate their interests
written by Randy, December 10, 2011
I mean, really... Wouldn't you rather if your wife played video games with you, or at least listened to you talk about your passion for video games? I did this for fun...but sadly, there are women who really would like if such a video game intervention company existed for men who refuse to do things around the house.
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My Wife is completley blind to my misery to being with her., Lowly rated comment [Show]
Why
written by Shontel, November 27, 2011
Why do some girls likes nagging even when they are wrong?
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Are you serious?
written by My god, November 22, 2011
Women: Please don't be so stupid as to take advice about how men "feel" and what they want from a WOMAN. That's like asking a frog what the sparrow feels as he's flying. If you are married, there's a good chance you know your guy pretty well, already. You already know what he wants. If you don't want to give it to him, that's fine- but don't go pretending that playing to his emotions (something that comforts women) will replace or make up for going without what they really want. You want to now what that is? Food - Sex - Sleep - Laughter. If you make your husband dinner a couple times a week, allow him to sleep as much as he needs, laugh with him, and give him some on a regular basis, you are in good shape. If things in your marriage aren't well after you've been providing such services, then there's a problem in place beyond your control and you may want to rethink your relationship.
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HELP
written by baby momma, November 22, 2011
So I have been dating this guy for a year. All of a sudden his baby's momma need a ride to various places. She doesn't have a vehicle. So my guy asks do I mind if he takes her? My first reaction is to say no am I wrong?
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urgent
written by neda, November 18, 2011
hello i have one love that think im young and not adult because he live in france and i live in iran how i can proove him i love him pure and im adult and ready for seriouse marriage?
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oh shit
written by wendell, November 15, 2011
ooga booga booga booga !!!
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Does My Wife Feel Too Stable?
written by Clamour_Kid, November 14, 2011
I agree 100% with this article and although I have been married to my wonderful wife for 10 years now, the last 3 have been difficult for me as I have been called obsessive. Apparently I focus on her too much. I want all of the above in this article and it is not appearing.

Granted, she does an absolutely amazing job with the 3 kids and towards the end of the day she is tired, but is it because of the immense feeling of stability that all this has stopped.

I do feel she still loves me, but it's like she doesn't have time or energy for anything other than the kids.
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Maybe I neeed to reevaluate my marriage
written by Tamischa Warren, October 30, 2011
I am newly married. Been married almost 2 months, dated my husband since June of 2011. My husband is in the army. He is an E-4. Since, we got married, I lost my job. I started going back to school. We have a puppy, and next weekend, we are getting my son back from my parents. My husband, if he tells it, does everything for me. He claims to buy me whatever I want. In some cases, that is true. In other cases its not true. He doesn't give me any money, for anything. He's not like, "here baby, here's some money for you to get your hair done, or your nails. However I cook and clean the apartment for me. I feel like I have no freedom in this marriage. I am a smoker. I smoke cigarettes. He knew that when he met me. Now, all of a sudden, he's all like I want you to quit smoking, so I'm not gonna buy your cigarettes. You need to get a fucking job to support yourself, he said, however he can buy sh** for a puppy that is only going to be an additional expense that we dont need. And he plays video games 24/7, and sleep. I dont know what to do anymore. Any thoughts? smilies/cry.gif
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It takes two
written by Samantha, October 25, 2011
to make a marriage, I have tried for years to be a 'good wife', cook him meals, do the shopping and washing, clean the house, be attentive, look after him when he's ill, he has his own 'free time' to pursue his own interests, defer to him on decisions..... I also work because I have to. After 6 years it's still the same, he comes home from work, throws a comment into the kitchen while I'm cooking dinner and that's it for the evening, the TV goes on....... Weekends are the same, he's not interested in going out and socialising and staying in means the TV goes on, even if it's 8.30am in the morning. His idea of a day off from work is to relax, which, in his life means sitting on the sofa for 10-12 hours watching TV. He turns down all social occasions. The only conversation we have is what to watch, he's not interested in anything else. Last year he told me to 'get a life' so I did..... I have friends I go out with and interests outside of the house. The result? We are like flatmates. He stopped being affectionate years ago, his idea of affection is leaning against me whilst we watch TV. Sex? Twice in 18 months. When I ask him why he finds it difficult to show affection and our lack of sex life the answer I get is that's how he is.............. We are not even 50 years old yet. Like an old couple. I do care about him, a lot, but can I live the rest of my life with someone who seemingly does not have any interest in me??????
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Not a Walk in the Park
written by Realistic, October 23, 2011
Marriage is not a walk in the park, especially with kids. But it as it's rewards. Both parents need to put the kids first. That means putting the mother first, in every respect. If the mother is not happy, the kids won't be happy.
Dads ,don't let the mother look bad in front of the kids. Worship the mother and in turn you'll be appreciated, unless of course she's a basket case ( then it sucks to be you.) But do your thing. Go out and make some doe. Don't sit and play video games. lead...
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Split from my wife
written by Jt, October 16, 2011
The problem is, Is that alot of people expect, you read this article and instantly expect your wife to behave like this but truthly it's 2 person game your both there too make each other happy. I'm split from my wife but I still love her, I love my children but I can't take the disrespect and behaviour. I work 9-5 but come home end up cooking for the family cleaning etc. I've tried to stop doing but my wife just simply won't cook at all because she's on a 'diet' she work 3 hours a week being a fitness instructor and she does well she also brings up 2 children and is a fantastic mother! But she has no respect to me at all. When shes home from work I have a bath run and dinner served I even wait until she's back at 7-8 at night to eat with her. In doing so I put the children to bed. On top of all that I have to deal with snidy comments, constantly putting me down and she has a problem if I have any sort of relationship, being with my mum or best friend. I just feel unloved and taken advantage of. Am I wrong? We now live apart but it kills me inside to be away from the family but I can't live on like it.
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why do men change after getting married to her lover....
written by tina, October 13, 2011
when we both fallen in love everthing was fine...it was like heaven.. but after we got married..he was trying to change me..y is so happenning he loved as i was earlier but after getting into a relationship he is trying to change me in the way i dress and before v use to go for outing but now he feel bore and becoming were possessive..now he feel happy of being with his friends rather than his wife..
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the truth
written by happy man, October 12, 2011
everyone complains about problems but are you even trying to fix them. life has its ups and downs but if you really love your wife then you can get through anything. divorse makes everything worse. complaining doesnt help. if you help from others then you dont deserve love. its simple to fix things just make them laugh. remind them who they fell inlove with. show you still care and would do anything for them. be a man about it and have a heart!
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Look at yourself! Make changes!
written by changedwife, October 12, 2011
I agree 100% with Partruck!! I am a former bad Wife. I felt a disconnect with my Husband that I couldn't put my finger on. I gave him plenty of sex and I cooked dinner, so I didn't see how I could possibly be a bad wife. Then I realized I rolled my eyes at his jokes, I overruled any input he had in decorating our house. I ridiculed his parenting techniques, I complained about where he put the dishes if he emptied the dishwasher (for me!). He was damned if he did, damned if he didn't with me, and I didn't even see it! I poured all my energy and attention into our children and left him with just sex and dinner. He was lonely for years. I feel so awful! I was totally blind! I feel like I was brainwashed and have snapped out of it. It's crazy! I remember when my mood was bad because I had a stessful day, he'd come home from work asking "what's wrong Babe?" And I would snap back "what do you THINK is wrong?!!!". He didn't deserve that. Then he'd say that to me and I'd get mad, saying something like "oh poor you! You have to come home to a crabby wife, well sorry if I'm not greeting you at the door in an apron, pie in hand, with a smile on my face". Yeah, my thought process what completely screwed up. Now I see it as...put a smile on your face because your Husband is home, you love him, missed him, and are glad to see him. He has nothing to do with why you're feeling annoyed. He had noting to do with the kids arguing for hours. As a result of this he has responded so positively, I have never been happier in my life! He wants to spoil me and do nice things for me. And he tells me how wonderful and amazing I am for being able to look at myself the way I did. He says he knows I really love him to do that. And I do. So if you love your man, treat him just the way this article says...and don't believe a man is happy and ok just because he says he is. Men hold things in and they will lie if it means sparing your feelings. If your guy tells you he's unhappy, do some self reflection and watch what happens. I simply get up with him every morning, make us coffee and toast, we sit and talk for half an hour and I walk him to the door, seeing him off to work with a hug, kiss, and I love you. This small act tells him he is loved, respected, and appreciated. In turn, he makes me feel the same. It's a much better way to live...where you're feeding off of each others positive actions rather than the negative ones. I am so incredibly happy. We have fallen in love all over again. You can choose to point fingers or you can choose to take a long hard look at yourself. One of those choices will lead you to misery, the other will lead you to happiness. I wish you all the best!
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...
written by Unknow, October 08, 2011
I really am not happy about my husband not letting me know that he wanted to go out with his friends and he is still not back the only thing that I am hurt for is he never told me the truth. I don't know how to react with this.
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written by Nothing works..., September 25, 2011
After reading this, I think I'm a pretty good wife.. I do everything trying to please my husband but for sone reasons I just feel like I'm not being appreciated by him..I tried movie dates, cooking dinner for him when he comes home from work and to me it just feels like he's never here.. our communications is very poor. I talk to him asking about his days and all he ever respond back is "good" and that's the end of the conversations. Overall when I think about my marriage, I just want out. I just feel like he's not in love with me. To be honest, I don't think he's done having feeling for ex gf way before we got married. I cried to myself why I have to put up with trying to be so nice to him. The only times he notices me and really does talk to me is when he wants SEX. I feel so used. I really want out of this marriage but I don't know how. What should I do? Should I just keep on trying or should I just let go and stop doing the things I do for him to love me?
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we've made mistakes,but discuss & apologiz
written by newleyweds2010, September 24, 2011
Just remember no one is perfect. You aren't & your spouse isn't. Reading & applying techniques in these marriage books break up more marriages. I am disabled, so i make it my job to make r house look great,am learning to cook,do everything to keep myself in great shape(difficult but he appreciates all my effort,) & think up fun ways for date time & sex. I always ask him if this is ok, not being like his mom
(U could give me $1 mill & i wouldn't act like her.) When i do this, the lovemaking is awesome & frequent, & the rest of r time. No woman wants to feel like her husband acts like a dad, y should yr husband want u to talk,dress like his mom etc? When we fail, we discuss it. Start w text r voicemail,process it,then we have an idea where the other is coming from w/out so much distraction.u r expected 2 do & say what his mom wants( like marie in everybody loves raymond.)i have respect 4 her,but she can't stand me r my family because we teach my husband he can voice his thoughts,wants & needs. She even ruined r first wedding, he told her off b4 i did.his dad gave me his moms gold & diamond wedding rings after!(my father in law's mom.) W r jobs,bad things have happened 2 both of us- u support each other financally,emotinally, not get divorced when things aren't perfect i had been working fulltime 6 days a week 4 10 yrs when i met him in 2004. When my health caused me 2 lose it,he's been there w me & my family every step of the way. Thats y i do my best to help him,after all he does for me. We had an issue this morning,but he hugged me & talked it out,after coming back inside. I never yelled but told him,& didn't chase him as he left.just sat in r room w door closed.surprised him to the point we made up & fixed the problem.his family never talks emotional, so he's learning very well! If u don't like time,patience,and helping your spouse & yourself be the best u can be together&separetly,2 name a few, my advice is stay single,then u can date around. Marriages have rules,r vows ,& commitments.your actions & words always affect your spouse,you & family whatever they r. Sorry 4 the long paragraph,lol.good luck!
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Not all guys are selfish pigs
written by Lonely man, September 21, 2011
My wife decided she didn't want to have sex anymore close to 2 years ago and will not discuss it now. She also won't touch me or let me touch her in anyway. She is always going out of town with her friends to Vegas or on Cruises. I do all the house work, cook, clean, take care of the kids, help them with their homework, etc... If I ask her about sex or why she is acting this way, she says it's all in my head or I need to stop thinking about sex. It has been 10 months since we had sex. I tell her all the time if it was me the stopped giving it to her I would be worried she would get it from someone else. She just says go for it. She is very selfish to me and doesn't care how I feel or if I am happy. If we both get sick, she will lay in bed and let me do everything around the house with no concern about how I feel. On my last birthday she didn't even wish me happy birthday. She went out of town to get away on that day.
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My wife is lazy
written by Robert , September 18, 2011
My wife For lack of a better terminology, sucks... Sucks as a mother a wife and house keeper, I am in fact considering divorce.. Have been for the last few years, and for the last few years we have been married. She lacks so much that laughing at my jokes, even pretending to appreciate everything that I do for this family is prohibited. She always snarls at me, always sits with a straight face.. Never really communicates beyond yelling and arguing. Cook and clean, excuse my french but it would be a cold day in hell if she cooks and cleans. Totally a bad mother to my child. I tried everything under he sun except leave her in the dust. Don't get me wrong, I do love my wife but my affection and liking of her is growing close to thinner every day I have to put up with it. All she ever wants is sex and to sit and watch movies ith me all day, I feel not compelled to even do just that because what we have to me seems to be close to nothing. If I married a brick I would be better off. I once told her that everything I have to do other than maskubate is what I did in the past and successfully, these things are what a women is here for. And more, to be your lover and best friend in the world. MEN truly suck at multitasking and organization, a wife I feel should be able to assist her husband in that as well as the following. I really don't know what to do.. Other than be the man that I am, always by her side, and taking care of mine.. Equally halfway. Not at all.. She is super lazy and mean but she tells me she loves me.. I don't feel it nor the so called appreciation and respect. Serious issues here PLEASE FOR THELIFE OF GOD...... HELP ME
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Votes: +6
pretty close
written by married dad, September 17, 2011
The article is pretty much right on with the exception of the last paragraph. I want 'alone' time but not necessarily with my wife and if I do I don't want to 'talk' about whatever is going on in our lives. Alone time also means quiet time. Same goes for being 'taken care of' - I want my wife to be concerned about my well being but you must understand that I do not want to talk about what may be going on to get me 'down' - just be SUPPORTIVE, you don't need to know all the details. A woman's way of handling problems is far different from a man's and your opinions on what we should do are mostly just piling on because now we feel like we also need to please you in 'how' we fixed the issue as well as 'actually' fixing the issue...just my .02
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Seeing the Issue
written by Partruck, September 06, 2011
Article is right on and the replies prove it. Instead of replying on trying to meet his needs, I can see mostly the same nagging and complaining he is dealing with every day. Barring the child man you should have never married anyway, start acting like a wife and meet his needs. Then, watch him respond like the husband you desire. A man provides for his family and wife only when his wife provides him a guaranteed wife who always meets his needs without complaint. And, I am not saying beer, sex, and nudey pics-if you thought that start by re-reading the article. A man needs a good wife, not another mother, another daughter, or a sister.
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Tired of hearing about how a wife should understand her husbands relationship with his mother
written by Pat, September 05, 2011
My husband spends a minimum of 3 hours per day (7 days per week) at his mothers. I find this wrong. I work all week and so I don't care if he sits at his mothers watching TV but he also has to do this when I am not working. In fact he spends more time with his mother than me. There's a problem here. I am seriously considering divorce because I am competing for his attention and am losing this fight. I believe his first wife left him for this same thing. Does anyone else have this problem. Please don't tell me that his mother comes first. I am sick and tired of being second best to his mother and sick and tired of hearing that this is natural. It is not! Someone please give me some advice.

By the way, my husband does not keep any of his belongings at our home- they are all at his mothers (including his vehicle). He rides his bike over to her house to use his truck even though we have enough room in our driveway for 4 cars. The only personal items he has at our home is his clothes. I want to end this relationship but something in me keeps trying to hold on. Comments PLEASE!!!!
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Men.... Horse Crap
written by Woman Vs. Man, August 11, 2011
First I just wanted to say that I was married and then divorced... I met my husband at 19 and was so in love with him. We had so many ups and downs, we got married and then he had a 6 month affair in which he lied and lied to me after I begged him to tell me the truth over months. It was the trust that killed our relationship. I think he wanted out. I worked from home, cooked, cleaned, did everything to make him happy, we went on dates together, we were best friends, and I was hoping to plan a family with him. When I found out about his affair it killed me... I was heartbroken and still am. I couldn't figure out what I could have done to prevent it. I left him and my home to be back on my own. He went to therapy and tried to win me back but I don't think I am ever able to forgive him. My whole outlook on life is completely different. I am so affraid to get married again because I don't know how to trust someone again. I can't imagine if we did have children, how I would have to work, clean, raise children, and take care of myself. Women can't do everything and we need happiness too. A marriage should be a partnership and the two MUST work together in order for it to work, when there are children involved that was a decision that the two of you made and you need to set an example of how a partnership should be. These are things that you must go over before you get married so you are on the same page. What you are okay with and not okay with.
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my husband gets mad if sometimes i want to drink a beer or just get \away sometimes and he tries to be more like my dad instead of a husband and brings up our past man im miserable
written by gina, August 04, 2011
my husband gets mad when i want to drink a beer and to get away with my friends and he has a pain killer addiction so hes fine on them but when he dont have those hes a asshole to me
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Useful Relationship Quotes
written by George Anderson, June 17, 2011
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”
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Way too beta
written by Jaye, April 29, 2011
Personal, you need to go to Married Man Sex Life and find out how to become more alpha. All the things you do are beta, and a woman needs alpha to be sexually attracted. There needs to be a balance between alpha & beta. Go see what MMSL has to teach you so your wife will want you all the time!
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written by Maximilian , April 14, 2011
Lots of interesting thoughts and stories, unfortunately not exactly bullseye shots to a mans real needs and desires.

We tend to buy into what you are selling from the get go of the relationship. That can be almost anything, my ex wife's first words to me were "do you want to go home with one girl or three girls" I went home with her and her two friends. That is one hell of a sales pitch.

To me the image of perfection was being offered to me, multilingual, well educated, nice looking, and a bit trashy in bed.

I was hooked.

While multilingual she refused to teach our daughter to speak her family language.

Being well educated one would expect a certain level of stimulating conversation, none.

Slim, nice figure, but started to alter the way she dressed and progressed into a totally homely looking woman.

What started as trashy in bed, became fixed missionary do it for the sake of being married sex.

I lasted 13 years, then could not stand the depression any longer, I found a lady and began a relationship with her, it was nearly like that love you feel as a child. Our interests clashed though and I had decided I would not try to change her to match my desires, I moved on.

I am now married again, my wife is who she is, not perfect in any particular way except that she remains true to herself. That is and always will be what I bought into, she was not selling anything she does not now deliver on a daily basis.

Its not about sex or money, or about kids and inlaws, its about you and what you are offering your man. Just be who you are from the get go, and keep it that way.


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written by Personal, March 03, 2011
I am 35 years old i am disabiled bu Iam able to do things around th house. I cook, I clean, I iron , Landuary done, I am very handy when fixing things, I pick up kids from school, I help with homework, I send my wife flowers on a regular basis, I belive we have a great relationship. The only problem is when it comes to getting intamate. I try new things. I give massages all the time I help with everything. Dinner is waiting when se gets home from work. I just do not know what else to do Icompliment her daily I tell her I love her at least 5-6 times a day. Then our physical part is just like non existant it's not there. Maybe 2 -3 times a month. I dont know if thas average but i would like alot more. Ido not know what else to do I get for play going and then she falls asleep so whats that all about. I knowshe would never cheat on me so thatis not the problem. If you cn give me any advise I am open to any suggestions at this point. I treat her kike a quee and nothing? Maybe its me im not the biggest n the world but im average. In the begening it was like 2-3 times a week but now I dont know? Can you please give me some advise on what to do I live this girl with all my heart and soul. I dont sommer her at all I give her her space to do what se needs At this point im just stuck and I need some help and I dont know where to go! Please help give advice something Please smilies/cry.gif
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nice
written by JackHutson, March 01, 2011
Nice post!
However, do not ever forget your sex life, keep it alive and you will keep that guy forever.
Good luck smilies/smiley.gif
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love
written by monika, February 13, 2011
i want just meet u.
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men when their together laugh at their wives
written by distracted, July 28, 2010
You know a guy, when with his co-guys, they laugh at their wives especially on issues like when they are caught going out with other girls.. As a couple, the man pretends his very sorry for his partner. But when he is already with his guy friends, he would tell like, "my wife caught me last night.. hahahaha..lol" I feel stupid. Why are men like that? It really hurts.
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why arnt men intellect or passant enff wit woman
written by nicole, February 27, 2010
my husband and do not have imate conversactions and he not sensual but i work have 3 kids i am going to school and he cant find a job and i love him and want to belive in him but isnt commuaction the key to happyness and i have to fell like im the only one
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I AGREE WITH HIM
written by The ideal wife , January 06, 2010
When a man is going out everyday busting his ass then YES he should be able to buy himself a damn video game. More you bug your husband about doing this and that the longer he is gonna take to do it, give him a break he will do more for you if you dont nag at him. A man wants to be appreciated more than anything and yes so do women but the man is showing you that he appretiates you when he's getting up at 5am everyday going to work to take care of the family. Men show there appretiation in a less emotional way and thats just a fact. YOUR MAN DOESN'T WANT ANOTHER MOM! He wants to feel like the protector and provider for his family so don't be little him by trying to boss him around like his momma. Let him make his own decisions if he wants to spend 50 dollars let him. As long as your bills are paid and your family has what they need then there is NO problem he deserves it REMEMBER he is the one going to work everyday earning that money. So if you don't be understanding, apreciative, loving and caring well then kiss your hubby goodbye. Beccause he will go somewhere that he CAN get those things.. He doesn't want to live like he is living with his parents again...So back off or expect to be alone sooner or later
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Men???
written by Mama, December 07, 2009
This is the message my husband transmits to me when I complain about attention problems and he is is given the chnace to let out his feelings towards our "LOVELY" marriage... "we have a good life, nice house, nice car, nice kids, Im a hard worker, you don't have to work, at night you sit on your sofa, I lay on my bigger sofa...we watch TV "together", we are "happy" in our 80 year old type of marriage what more could youask for"???he says.....I say "except we are only 30!!!!we should be cracking some nuts and i don't mean pecans while we sit on our rocking chairs in the porch!!!!lol...wheres the attention I need to be able to feel like a happy stay at home mother, doing my part of the caring for him and the kids??? a car needs gas to run on and "some" (most) women need attention, that can be expressed in many different forms and positions...I mean ways...like a kiss, a flower, a Hello!!! ok that's enough stem released for today....lol....
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I am going through this now with my husband
written by mommy2hendrix, December 03, 2009
my husband is an only child and is spoiled to death he treats me really bad sometimes and the way he acts and the things he says like he is going to leave me and that he wishes he never married me and had our kids really hurts me because i left my family my older son and moved 5 hours to have a life with him and now he is out with his friends while i stay at home with the kids all the time it is so hurtful to hear the one you love say such things to you i feel for your wife if she ever finds out how you feel and has to go through the pain i have been feeling for the past year my husband and i were best friends we did everything together until i had our daughter i laid in pain for 12 hours and had her with no pain medicine it is not easy bringing children into this world you guys have the easy part just stick it in and go we mothers carry that child for nine months and then give birth to them for you ungreatful men no i dont work but i stay at home and take care of a 19 month old and a 2 month old i clean i am a full time student i am always there for my husband and i love him very much just to hear him complain and rather be with his friends than his family but let me tell you something those friends wont always be there your kids will i hope you grow up and realize that your kids and wife is more valuable than any video game children are miracles and god gave them to you through your wife grow up and tell her how mcuh you love her
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Most men are selfish pigs
written by Wife who is fed up, August 31, 2009
I bet your wife would be destroyed emotionally if she knew your true feelings! Wow that is harsh, how would you be if you had a sickly child? Men seem to me to be self centered and waiting for the chance to act like teens. I hope the younger girls coming up today get some sense and stop being sheep like I was. Another thing, women need to stick to their own husbands, they go to work and befriend male co-workers, they act all friendly, so soft ass man things femal co-worker is so cool, because he had nagging wife all weekend! Men these female co-workers go home take their maek-up off and do the same shit to their husbands you wife does to you
I am so fed up of males right now! I am fed up of having to treat them like spoilt children. It has always and laways will be a mans world. Should have smacked ya'll asses good when ya'll where born you shower of pigs!!!!!!!!!!
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whoa!
written by me, July 02, 2009
wow! u r relly angry. first, divorce wont make u hapier n u r jealous of ur kids stop listening to ther dissatisfied guys, they r fueling ur aner n bitter ness
u c ur wife as controlling, think she cares more about he children than u
u ve got to talk, u r a father now, thats responsibility! buy video games dy all means but make sure evry one in the family gets smtin tnat makes them happy 2
n last, i think u love food, fat free fod is not as tasty as the counterpart, so just explain to ur wife,to give u the low fat option n if u r ok with ur weight, try taking up some sport or a physicel hobby so she will worry less about ur health n do u know that a guys sexual performance is inversely related to his weight? maybe thats why shes pushing the fat free foood n is ur wife a fitness sreak? if she is , it would be embarrasin to present a pudgy husband
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written by lola, June 05, 2009
your a loser! I wonder if your mother said the same thing about you..
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Hm........
written by Sally, March 28, 2009
So what do men really want smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/kiss.gif smilies/cry.gif smilies/cool.gif smilies/shocked.gif smilies/sad.gif smilies/grin.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/smiley.gif
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Unhappily married with kids
written by Miracles do happen, March 12, 2009
It's so amazing to me that you allow anger to get the best of you and your situation. I don't believe not one bit that you even believe what you have stated in this comment about your children and even the fact that you hate that you got married.

No one put a gun to your head and made you get married or even forced you to have sex with your wife in order to get her pregnant in the first place. Surely there must be something there because if it wasn't you would be gone and you wouldn't have time to grope about your pitiful little problems that are so minute and they really don't matter.

I need you to stop and really think about how you really feel, is your problem really the wife and children or are you just unhappy with yourself and your own accomplishments. Don't take your frustrations out on the family because you are unhappy channel those feelings and place the blame where they really go.

How would you feel if your parents felt the same way that you do about your children or if you found out that your wife felt the same way that you do about her how would that make you feel. Re-evalute how you really feel and if it is all that bad leave the family would be better off any way. Before you do I would like to introduce you to a movie called fire proof you can order it off of amazon.com it is an awesome movie and it will give you something to think about and if you are still unhappy don't continue to make your family suffer be a man and do what is right.
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unhappily married with kids
written by Itsme, March 05, 2009
i'm surprised your wife hasn't left you by now. she needs a real man who isn't self-centered and still a baby needing a bottle. She already has that in her children. Forgive her for wanting things to be taken care around the house and not falling apart so that YOU look good. Oh yeah, and please forgive her sin for caring about you and your cigarette smoking. What a witch! How could you even stand it? And your weight? Wow, if you did that while you were dating, she probably wouldn't have given you a 2nd thought. I guess it doesn't matter to you if you have a heart attack. What a horrible woman for caring.
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written by majesty, January 22, 2009
dear unhappily married with kids,

I think your above comment is really sad.I guess what youre really trying to say is that because you cant buy video games when you want and because your wife is conerned about your health and your family finances ... you wish that you never got Married or had your children - what does that say about you and your maturity?

most adult married couples know that even though raising kids is the hardest thing theyve ever done, it is all worth it. What are you Going to say to your kids on your Death bed?... 'umm I wish I never had you, I wanted to buy video games instead!

think about it ...
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Grow Up
written by Does Not Matter, January 14, 2009
How childish & self centered of you & your guy friends. It is hard enough to physically/mentally keep up with 3 children, 1 adult child (husband,) & self. I am sure your wife gets paid $0 and she "work so much to take care of four people pretty much by myself." Everything I have read is about you, you, & you. GROW UP! WEML..

1. Would it not be better to invest your money into something better than your VG's & your CD's? Is this the things children like? Get off your wife's back about useless things.

2. "I will get around to doing what is needed to be done when I get around to doing it." If your wife thought the same way nothing would get done. Quit playing your video games for 5 minutes & do what needs to be done. Help...

3. "I will eat what I want when I want." FIX YOU FOOD YOURSELF & quit nagging... She is only worried about you & your families health.

4 "I like smoking. It calms and relaxes me." Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe she may need a cigarette so that she can relax. Again, she is only worried about you & your families health.

Sorry if this is harsh but it is honest?
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unhappily married with kids
written by unhappily married with kids, October 19, 2008
No kids. As I guy with many guy friends, we have all decided that we wish we had not had kids.We love them but hey I am just being honest. Some of us wish we had not gotten married.I am included in that some of us. Let me list things not to do that my wife always makes sure that she does do.

1.Get off my back about buying stuff that will make me happy because you dont think it is worth it.If I want a damn video game or cd I can have it. It is my money that I earned and can spend some on myself and not only on the kids that you wanted.Im not taking my shit back anymore!

2.I will get around to doing what is needed to be done when I get around to doing it.Dont nag me about every five minutes and dont be a smartass by saying that you will just do it yourself.

3.I will eat what I want when I want. Stop trying to shove fat free food down my throat because I am not the weight you want me to be.

4.I like smoking. It calms and relaxes me.Since I have to work so much to take care of four people pretty much by myself I need all the relaxing I can get!

Sorry if this is harsh but itshonest.


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